How many times has your pregnancy test been negative? From ovulation kits to fertility books, you may feel like you've tried it all. And as your disappointment mounts, you might be at the end of your rope. But cut yourself some slack. If you don't think you can handle another double line on your test, here are some ways to cope as you struggle to conceive.

Yell, scream, cry

It's okay to allow yourself time to be angry. To cry. To grieve. Trying to conceive (TTC) is an emotional rollercoaster and you'd have to be superhuman to power through the pain every time. Letting yourself release your emotions will make you feel better.

Breathe

Allow yourself a day (or two or three -- heck make it a week) to unplug and do the things you love without apology or guilt. You've been so immersed in ovulation kits and planned sex with your spouse that it could be a welcome treat to unwind and not think about anything baby-related. (Of course that's easier said than done.)

Believe

As someone who's been in this boat before, you've probably heard positive messages like, "your baby will find you," "if it's meant to be, it will be" or "you will be a mom." Don't underestimate the power of positive thinking and your ability to get through this difficult time. Your baby will find you. He or she will.

Take a break

It's okay to take the next month (or longer) off from trying to conceive. Stress and anxiety have been linked to infertility struggles and you won't be doing yourself any favors by ignoring these feelings. You're probably exhausted and feeling negative -- and that's normal. Give yourself permission not to try to have a baby for a little while. When you're ready, you can start the process again and you'll be stronger for it.

Seek help and support

Give yourself permission to nottry to have a baby for a little while. When you're ready, you can start the process again and you'll be stronger for it.

There are unlimited resources out there for women who are TTC. You can become part of organizations like Pulling Down the Moon in Chicago and Washington, D.C. that offer everything from yoga for fertility classes to acupuncture. You can also become part of online communities of women who are dealing with infertility struggles. Once you put your personal story out there in some way -- whether it's reaching out to a close friend or sharing it online, you'll be surprised by the number of people you'll meet who've gone through the same thing. And many of them will have positive stories to tell that will give you hope.

More about trying to conceive

Natural ways to combat infertility
So, you need a sperm donor
Secondary infertility struggles

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Nichole Beaudry May 01, 2012
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Thank you for this piece, Lisa.
For 17 months now, I have had to process the disappointment of yet another failed cycle. The "believe" part is often the most difficult.