Posted: Apr 20, 2012 3:02 PM
 
When I began disagreeing with my doctor about the birth plan in the middle of my fourth pregnancy, I realized that having a home birth might just make the most sense for my family. I’d always secretly wanted to have my baby at home and was involved in a supportive natural birth community. At 32 weeks along, I broke up with my doctor and never looked back.

My first three babies were born -- quite uneventfully -- in the hospital. But by the time we had our third son, I’d grown older and wiser and found the hospital setting confining and agitating. Within minutes of his unmedicated birth (it happened so fast that the doctor didn’t even make it in time) a nurse jabbed a shot of Pitocin in my thigh to speed up delivery of the placenta. I had preferred to birth my placenta on my own to avoid having medication in my body, as well as the awful after-birth pains that come as a side effect to Pitocin. I imagined it would naturally appear sometime within that first hour while I was nursing my newborn, but the nurses had a schedule to keep and they weren’t going to wait on my placenta. Writing up our birth plan for our last baby, the list grew longer, full of the many things we didn’t want done during labor and after the baby was born. My husband and I just looked at each other and asked, “Why are we doing this in a hospital?”

No bow glue

baby hair bowWe were expecting our first girl and had heard that the hospital often glues a bow to the baby’s head if she’s a girl. I appreciated the nice gesture but immediately added to the birth plan document: “No bow glue.” No bow glue? Really? I have to put this in my birth plan? It seems so incredibly silly these years later, but it meant everything to me at the time. I wanted to have my baby in as close to a home-like setting as possible, with no unnecessary interventions. And certainly no bow glue.

Breaking up is hard to do

The day my doctor refused to go along with my wishes to cut the umbilical cord after it had stopped pulsing is the last day I was his patient. All I wanted was to delay cord clamping, which would be around the time my placenta delivered if they let it all happen on its own. But he thought my desires were invalid, so I broke up with him. I scheduled an appointment to meet in his office and told him that I would no longer need his services. I was going to have my baby at home. It was important to me to tell him in person and not just suddenly stop coming to my appointments. I wanted him to know, and he responded with, “We shall agree to disagree.” I floated out of his office and never looked back.

There’s no place like home

Choosing to have a home birth is one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. For us, it absolutely made the most sense, and by God I got to birth my own placenta! It happened just as I thought it would: A few minutes after my baby girl was born and already at my breast. I didn’t feel a thing, but my midwife gently mentioned I should give a little push. In the dimness of our candle-lit bedroom, I had my baby and placenta, no big fanfare, no interventions -- and it was perfect.

More about birth plans

How to prepare in case your home birth plan fails
The truth about birth plans
The pros and cons of creating a birth plan

Topics: home birth

Comments

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Carla Shreve February 24, 2013
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THANK U 4 SHARING, I WILL SOON BE 52 YRS OLD AND I AM 23 WEEKS PG I THOUGHT I WENT THROUGH MENOPAUSE BUT SURPRISE SURPRISE I AM A MEMAW HAVING KIDS AGAIN LOL, I ENJOYED YOUR HOME BIRTH MESSAGE AND I PLAN ON HAVING MINE AT HOME.
Alicia French May 10, 2012
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Great article. I hope to have a home birth and reading something from a Mom who has done both is very comforting.
Anonymous April 30, 2012
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Great article, Stephanie. I teach childbirth classes and have had a fair share of moms switch providers/birth places once they start learning about their options. Looking forward to reading more of your articles.