As you began trying to conceive, you and your partner both said, "We'll go with the flow." But after one month passed and you weren't pregnant, obsession settled in for the ride. Now you've gone from "Hey, let's make a baby!" to "Ugh, again?" Babymaking sessions have become a chore.
Welcome to the first challenge of parenthood -- remembering to put your coupledom first.
Putting polar opposites in perspective
The characteristics that brought you and your partner together may draw you apart as you try to conceive. The laid-back attitude that's always made him so attractive is now magnified in the wrong direction. Allow yourself some perspective. Just because he may seem less consumed than you with making a baby, that doesn't mean he isn't taking the effort seriously. In fact, guys can feel just as pressured about the physical element of pregnancy as you do. While you're waiting for your body to get it together, he may be desperate to confirm that his boys are swimming in the right direction.
Scale over setbacks
A miscarriage, a false positive, an infertility crisis, negative after negative after negative pregnancy tests -- any of these things can tear a couple apart. But they can also bring two people closer together. For some couples, trying to conceive is a lengthy, emotional, gut-wrenching journey that can be peppered by successes, quickly followed by disappointments. The truth is, sometimes too much has happened in a relationship to overcome alone -- so seek out some counseling together and don't be ashamed by it.
Mars and Venus, together again
Men and women experience things differently. To solution-based men, it may seem A-okay to make comments like, "Don't worry, it'll happen next month" or "We'll just try again." But this kind of talk could make a woman wonder if she's trying to conceive with the right person. Plain and simple, you've got to communicate. He needs to know that you're freaked out about being so obsessed with counting days and monitoring temps and becoming someone you're not (or someone you didn't think you were). And it's important for you to know how he's feeling about this journey too. Reassure each other. After all, you're on the same team.
Tear up the to-do list
Relaxation is an essential element of getting pregnant. Stress can affect your body more than you even realize. Get away from your bedroom, ovulation charts and thermometer (don't hyperventilate just reading this). Skipping a month of monitoring your cycle to get some R&R may seem unthinkable, but this break can be the key to getting you and your partner back to the healthy relationship you both need to make a baby. It's important to make sure the intimate time you spend together is not spent just with conception in mind.