I had my heart set on delivering my son the natural way but my body had other plans. Starting with when my son would arrive. At just less than 37 weeks, my water broke. At 3 a.m. My half-asleep husband and I frantically packed a bag and drove in stunned silence to the hospital as the sun rose over our city. We weren't really sure what was in store for us, and I can't say we were ready for it.
You're leaving here with a baby
Regardless of the fact that I was not dilated in the slightest, I was going to deliver my baby that day. Once your water breaks, doctors aim to get that baby out within 24 hours to avoid complications with baby getting an infection. So I was put on Pitocin to start contractions. This was the first of many things that was not included in my birth plan but would not be the last.
Epidural? Yes, please
I was never anti-epidural, but I really had hoped that I could deliver my baby without the aid of drugs. However, due to the Pitocin, my contractions came on hard and fast. My husband had to lift my head up as I signed away to have it administered. This was number two.
Seventeen hours after my water first broke, I was finally dilated enough to start pushing. And I did… for more than two hours. Finally my doctor told me I'd need to have an emergency C-section. My heart broke as I was wheeled into surgery fighting back tears loaded with fear and failure.
Here's your son
Moments later, it seemed, my beautiful baby boy was placed in my shaking arms. I was exhausted, drugged up and overwhelmed with joy. It was over. My son was here.
Getting over it
The next day, after (most of) the fog from the drugs wore off, I began to feel the sting of not being able to bring my baby into the world as I'd planned. I didn't get over this feeling at first. But every time I looked at my perfect little newborn son, I knew I had done something right. It didn't matter how my son had arrived. He was here. And that's all that really matters.
Every woman has a perfect vision of how she'll bring her child into the world. But you have to be flexible in your birth plan in case there are circumstances that are out of your control. Take heart in knowing, like I do now, that there are many amazing ways to bring life into this world. And the fact that you can do so in any way is a privilege. So wear that badge of motherhood proudly — regardless of your birth plan change ups.