Shh. Do you want to know a secret? All of those perfectly glowing, shiny, happy, brand new celebrity (or royal) moms? They have sore vaginas and probably have a bag of frozen peas in their pants while being attended to by their glam squads.
Chances are your friends talk about their labor and birth experiences, but immediate postpartum? Not so much. Once you deliver your baby and placenta and your OB or midwife checks you and your baby out, you may want to do the following:
Say hello to disposable underwear
When the nurse presents you with a pair of ugly, stretchy, mesh disposable granny panties, thank her with a smile. Disposable underwear won't replace your lingerie collection but will be a lifesaver after giving birth.
And welcome your new BFF, mega pads
You will bleed heavily in the initial days postpartum so embrace the hottest accessory for granny panties — super absorbent, super long and super heavy sanitary pads. Practicality will win out over style again. The regular pads you have at home? No dice. And you won't be able to use tampons until your healthcare provider gives the OK.
Speaking of things that can't go in the vagina
In general, doctors and midwives give the OK for intercourse — or any vaginal penetration — around six weeks postpartum. The very thought of anything going in after baby comes out may have you freaking out about this six seconds after having a baby. Give your body time to recover as you get to know and care for your baby. If you can't imagine even thinking about having sex again, look at your friends who have more than one child!
Frozen peas aren't just for dinner anymore
The bag of frozen peas (or other veggies) in your freezer? You know the one — it's been waiting there for months yet you never cooked anything with it. You will, however, stick that bag in your (granny) underpants. Your perineum will be sore, especially if you have an episiotomy or tearing.
Stay comfortable, give your body time to heal, and enjoy being a new mom!